Mixed Signals
by StarTraveler
Summary: Simon is sure Raphael feels something also but at the same time he isn't.


Disclaimer: If I owned anything Simon and Raphael would've stayed on better terms with each other.

AN: An idea that came into my head, in this universe Simon never betrayed the clan. Unbeated.

***  
It was over, Camille had been executed by the Clave, and she could never again hurt or manipulate anyone.

Simon was free of her once and for all.

He would no longer be haunted by that strange feeling of being pulled in his head.

It was a tiny feeling, like a thought in the back of his mind, but it was always there.

Sometimes it had felt ready to pounce on him.

Thankfully he had Raphael to go to during those times.

Strange how so many weeks before Raphael had been the one to help capture him on Camille's orders.

He had then become an ally as he took leadership of the clan from Camille and helping Simon adjust to being a vampire.

Simon knew he had grown to deeply care for his new clan and especially Raphael.

He knew he was attracted to Raphael but he knew he couldn't say anything at least not yet.

Best of all Clary had gotten her mother back; the Clave had methods they had used to get Camille to reveal the location of the Book of the White.

Simon had remained behind due to the fact it was the daylight while the Book was retrieved.

He had been invited and gone to the institute and watched as Jocelyn had been awakened.

Simon was happy to have his second mother back, especially given his current circumstances.

Just then Simon felt the sensation of another nearby.

"Raphael?"

Raphael appeared before him at first as a blur and then became himself.

"I'm impressed fledgling, you've clearly been training."

Raphael's full lips held his signature smirk, and his eyes were relaxed.

"I've had a great teacher."

Raphael turned serious, "How are you?"

"I feel good, I got my second mom back and Camille is gone."

They were standing close together and the tension that had always seemed to be between them quickly rose between them.

Raphael cleared his throat and as usual he licked his lips without seeming to realize it.

"I just wanted to check on you and say goodnight, sunrise is in two hours."

"Thanks Raphael and good night to you also."

Their conversation was so dumb sounding, Simon thought to himself.

Raphael nodded and went out of the room.

***  
Simon went to his bedroom crawled under his covers, they were a burgundy color, and he was wearing his favorite star wars pajamas.

He closed his eyes.

He was in pain, someone was biting him! He saw Camille on top of him, her strength holding him down.

He couldn't scream or move.

Help me! His mind screamed.

Just then another voice cut through his terror.

"Simon, focus on me."

Raphael? Simon tried to reach for someone that didn't seem real.

"I'm here, fight to wake up."

Simon tried to fight the darkness that was trying to envelope him and he soon bolted upright.

Raphael sat at the foot of the bed and was out of range as Simon had thrashed about.

"Everyone is haunted by their transformation, it will get better."

"I don't want to be alone, please hold me," Simon whispered.

Raphael came and laid down next to him, Simon embraced him and Raphael awkwardly returned it.

They soon fell into a deep sleep.

Simon awoke first and stared at Raphael.

In sleep Raphael looked younger and more at peace.

Raphael soon opened his eyes.

"Thank you," Simon whispered.

"Think nothing of it, I had Magnus to help me and I am glad I can help someone in return."

Without thinking Simon gently touched Raphael's cheek, it just happened and felt right.

But obviously also wrong as Raphael stiffened.

He quickly sat up, "I must go."

He got up and Simon cursed his own stupidity.

***  
It was two days before Simon was able to find Raphael alone.

He was in a den like area listening to an opera song on the radio.

"Can I sit here?" Simon asked softly.

Raphael nodded and Simon sat down.

"I'm sorry for what I did, I wasn't even thinking about it."

"It's alright fledgling things just happen; some vampires go through awkward phases."

Simon grinned as the mood was lightened.

They sat silently for a while.

"I haven't seen your redhead lately."

"She's been busy since Jocelyn woke up again, and she's just a friend."

"Interesting," Raphael replied, seemed like he was saying it to himself.

"Why are you asking?" Simon tried to sound casual.

"Just curious, it's nice not having Shadowhunters constantly barging in here."

"I used to be in love with her, but it's obvious she was and still in love with Jace, which is now awkward due to their situation."

Could Raphael be interested?

Simon would have to watch the behavior of the other to see.

The song ended and Raphael stood up, "I better get back to clan business."

Simon stood up and they were standing close together.

"Do you need any help?" Simon's voice went husky, even though it wasn't what he was going for.

"No thank you," Raphael cleared his throat and seemed to quickly speed out of the room.

Watching television or listening to the radio became a ritual for them.

Simon was thrilled when he got Raphael to smile and even one night got a laugh out of him.

They had the lights off watching a horror film and Simon laid his head on Raphael's shoulder.

It was an older vampire movie.

Simon rose up his head, "Ever felt tempted to secretly write to someone in Hollywood and tell them their ideas are all wrong?"

"No, but I know some others have been throughout the years."

They were once again so close and Simon could no longer resist, He leaned in and pressed his lips against Raphael's.

Raphael returned the kiss and just as quickly pulled away.

"Simon," Raphael looked so vulnerable and confused.

Simon felt angry and confused, "If you're going to say you're not interested, you sure have a bizarre way of not showing it."

"I am interested, Simon, I really am..."

Simon waited for Raphael to continue at his pace.

Raphael looked at Simon, his eyes were sad.

"I'm asexual; I was this way even before I became a vampire. We can fall in love like everyone else but a majority of us never feels any sexual desire."

Raphael looked down at his hands in his lap, "I've fallen in love, but I don't have the desire for sex, I've heard some asexuals have sex to please partners."

"Oh Raphael," Simon felt relief at knowing the truth. "I want to be with you, sex isn't everything, and we'll go your pace."

Raphael accepted Simon's embrace, "I have no idea what I did to deserve you."

"I should be asking myself that question."

They shared another kiss and then just sat there holding each other.

***  
AN2: Afraid of what the season finale will bring, I got a bad feeling Raphael will be killed off and he's a huge reason I got hooked on the show. Hoping I'm wrong. I researched asexuality on the web so if I got anything wrong I'm very sorry.


End file.
